Roads to Joy

Sometimes Kali cat is happy to rest on our laps, of an evening, when she’s fully fed and replete, warm and cosy with the fire blazing, and we’re quiet ourselves. She still hunts for small creatures, and gobbles them whole, all except the guts. But mostly she perseveres with her importunings: feed me; feed me again; feed me now!

I never know when is the most appropriate time for indulging her, or for ignoring her wheedlings. But there are moments, like this one I snapped the other night, when all is peaceful and we’re all quite content. I wonder if creativity is a bit like a grumpy cat; if you feed the craving, might some delight more readily come your way?

And so I feel I must persevere with my search for another joyful musing, in the persistent hope that what might be leaden dross might somehow be transformed into a golden moment. That is to say, if I let the search slide for a day or two, more even, it’s that much harder to get back into the adventure. Although I do feel chained to the daily rhythm, frightened to let go of it and to allow indolence to spread its heavy wings, I also feel that the means of persevering is an end in itself. The cat must always be fed, or there will be dire consequences.

We both feel very stiff and achey this morning: a lovely walk in the woods, followed by a stint of standing, and up-and-down stairs, for Lunch Club service, and then a two hour sitting and standing rehearsal with the SongWave Choir. A bit of physical pushing, for sure. Today we hope to get to what counts as ‘heavy gardening’ outside our downsized pied-à-terre, shifting and sorting plants in their heavy pots, trimming back for the winter ahead. And then, if the weather does brighten, a gentle meander through the marshland for fun.

FIrst I have my writing duties, my exercises that are both indulgence and discipline, and then, for a rest and a relaxation I really must lose myself in a deep read. The way my reading has come in though, my primary focus should be with material on my laptop, rather than in a convenient, hand-held paperback. Maybe I’ll try to get that big Word document over to my iPhone, so I can read horizontally. If I clean my reading glasses, yes, I can just about follow the text. Might find I’m dropping off into my snooze rather quicker though.

With the thought of stretching out my tired muscles and aching joints then, I shall motivate myself to the daily disciplines, and find the joy, eventually, in both pursuits. If that means I’m entering the world of Kali cat, so be it!